nonviolent communication: a language of life

Rating:
Date: 2008-06-26
Excellent book for all!
Literally, anyone who speaks could benefit from reading this book! It helps us to realize not only the power of words but how to choose them better and ultimately enhance both communication and relationships! Highly recommended! :)

Rating:
Date: 2008-06-01
A Common Sense Guide to Communicating Effectively!
The entire premise of the book is about playing nice in the sandbox. It is unfortunate that we as human beings seem to forget that simple rule that we learned when we were very young...but we do.

Marshall Rosenberg explains in the introduction that he has two questions that have motivated him to find the answers to: He asks: "What happens to disconnect us from our compassionate nature, leading us to behave violently and exploitatively? And conversely, what allows some people to stay connected to their compassionate nature under even the most trying circumstances?"

These questions are truly profound and Rosenberg does an exceptional job of answering both of them in his book.

Rosenberg notes that the first component of Nonviolent Communication is to observe without evaluating. In other words, apply empathy when communicating. This is easier said than done and takes time, patience and a willingness to change ones behavior. There will be mistakes along the way, but change does come with the right attitude.

The second component is to express our feelings. It encourages conscious responses bases on awareness of what we are perceiving, feeling and wanting rather than being habitual and auto responding without thinking. In other words, Rosenberg recommends critically thinking through what to say before saying it. Words are weapons and they need to be handled skillfully or they will be harmful!

There are many insightful comments throughout the book. For example, Rosenberg says: "It is the rare human being who can maintain focus on our needs when we are expressing them through images of their wrongness."

This book and other excellent books on communication help us understand each others needs better. With a little shift in our thinking we can be better communicators!

The Re-Discovery of Common Sense: A Guide to: The Lost Art of Critical Thinking

Rating:
Date: 2008-05-25
Nonviolent Communication
I loved this book! I found the tecniques easy to grasp and easy to implement. Using nonviolent communication has already helped me with family, friends, at work, and even with myself. Communication is so important for successful relationships. I found this book to be most helpful!

Rating:
Date: 2008-03-31
Simple, but Not (Usually) Simplistic
I received this book for free at a communication studies conference, and didn't think much of it. Then I started reading it.

The book is meant to be a handbook for carring on day to day communication with people in your life in a nonviolent way, which is defined as not passing judgment, making accusations, etc.

The downside? The formula the book describes can seem a bit cheesy and mechanical at first. The scripts suggested are fairly specific and involve some langauge that will strike many as sort of garden-variety touchy-feely stuff ("When you say that, what I hear you saying is that . . .").

But the underlying ideas about the importance of empathy, the unproductive nature of approaching communication (even argument) as adversarial, and the basic human decency that lies beneath the concepts are more important and can't be trivialized by what might seem like hokey language.

Thorough-going cynics will not enjoy the book, but others will find some new ideas (and reminders of some basic common sense) that are useful.

BTW, thre are a number of books that make some similar points, but do so using a martial arts analogy (which might seem odd, but is actually in keeping with the "nonviolent" ethos of this book). You might look at "Aikido for Everyday Life" and/or "Verbal Judo," particularly if "Nonviolent Communication" sounds like it's just a bit too, well, wussy for you.

Rating:
Date: 2008-03-04
The easiest and most effective interpersonal tool
Speaking Peace: Connecting With Others Through Non-Violent Communication
After years of reading spiritual self-help and self-awareness books and attending numerous trainings (all of which I found beneficial, to some degree) Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life, by Marshal Rosenberg, brings me full circle. The tools and beliefs that served for well for my first 32 years of being me were no longer effective; they were not bad or wrong; they just no longer served. The other books and trainings were great and informative, but with the 4-Step NVC model I was able to realize results from day one.

The book is a quick read in an easy to understand format. There is no "nu-nu, na-na" terms or phrases that tend to turn off or alienate the spiritual initiate or layman. The 4-step model is easy to understand both in terms of everyday use and in underlying logic of why and how it works. One is able to put the process into use from day one; indeed from page one. Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life is not the thickest book in my personal library (248 pages) but it is definitely the most effective when it comes to interpersonal communications, bar none.

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